Weighted pessimism

Sometimes pessimism is my best friend. It keeps me from getting too hopeful, or too excited or anxious about all the things that are coming up in my life. I try to remain pessimistic about my trip this summer by saying that it probably won't be that much fun, although I am pretty sure its going to be six incredibly memorable days. I try to tell myself that my grades aren't going to be that good, although I am probably going to be getting straight A's or close. I try to tell myself that my life isn't that good right now, although it seems that with every passing day another good thing happens to me, I catch another break, another piece fits into the puzzle. It is all good, and there in lies the problem. I am fighting a war between my head and my heart. My heart wants to be jubilant everyday, and be excited about everything happening and wants to take everything as it is. My head is screaming for me to stop, settle down, and realize that something will come along soon enough to screw up everything I have working for me lately. So here is what I do: I let my heart take actions during the day and make the decisions about how I live my life, but I listen to my head so that I stay grounded and focused and don't get too far ahead of myself. I hope that my head is wrong, and that that everything will continue on like it has lately, but if it doesn't, I'll be glad I kept my head about things. It is kind of like a hope for the best, expect the worst type of theory for my life right now.