i don't get it

The title says it all. I don't understand this. I always figured that good times would always come with the bad. And they have, for every time I've been upset or cried or been wronged in my life it has been offset by a happy time where i have received something good or laughed. But my life now does not fit into that mold. Because on the one hand I am going through a lot that I don't deserve to have happen (cancer treatments, living with my parents @ 20, being away from my friends) and yet I have the single handed best thing in my life right now...kinda. I am head over heels in love with my girlfriend, and cannot be with her. She means more and more to me with every second I spend with her, and those seconds are few. I am as happy as I've ever been with a relationship, but it's the hardest one I've ever had to endure. What do I do with this? How do I find a way to make this easier? The questions constantly plague me. And it's that classic question of why do bad things happen to good people, but I understand that. What I don't understand is how I am feeling. Being in love is never easy, anyone who has ever been in love will tell you that. We both just deserve to have it easy, and its not going to be for at least another nine months. And that's a long time. But here is the real caviot, she is totally worth it. I have so many feelings, so much I wanna do, so many things I want to say, and cannot because of a horrible situation. I think that I have so much to say that I can't write it all out right now. I'm going to update this some more in the next few days as soon as I can get my thoughts together