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So here I go again. Down a road that only takes me to places that I hate. This road takes me away from my friends, away from college, away from my girl, away from everything that matters to me. And yet I do not feel sorry for myself. I can't help but think that others always have it worse than I do. But what I am is disappointed. At the end of school I had everything I ever needed or wanted. And now that is totally gone from my life and I don't really know when I am going to get it back. There is no time frame that says that I will be back on track and doing what I want with my life in such a period of time. Next year was going to be amazing. Now not only will next year be totally devoid of me, but it anything that goes wrong for any of my friends is going to make me feel like it is my fault. What I wish is that right now I was back at school with all my friends and especially with Cassie, and I could just do the things that I thought I would be able to do. I hope that everyone else has a great year without me but at the same time doesn't forget about me. I hope that I maintain my classwork so I can still graduate with my friends. And more than anything I hope that Cassie and I do get to do all the things we have planned. If this is the price I have to pay to get all the things I want then I suppose it is worth it, so long as I DO actually get the things that I want. I gotta get my life back soon.